1 The Decorated Meringue
Your wedding day should be a memorable occasion, but it is best that it is remembered for the right reasons. While one can see the intention behind this Cinderella-esque confection, the end result is not quite what one expects…
The skirt is so large that one wonders if it doubles as a honeymoon tent, and the sparse texturing seems to be unfinished having attained a perfect balance between gorgeously overdone and elegantly understated. The frothy-skirted bridesmaids' dresses too, aim at stylised and sophisticated fun, but speak instead of 'serious toothpaste accident'. The nicest thing we can say is that the cheerful turquoise blue is very pretty.
2 Matrimonial Pride
While this couple certainly deserves kudos for their clear and unequivocal statement of tolerance, equality and LGBTI support, one does wonder if they have not overdone the rainbow concept of their wedding attire. The combination of all that rainbow zaniness with a lot of black means the couple look simultaneously like free-living hippies and slightly creepy warlocks: not a bad look per se, but not really desirable for a wedding.
The style of the couple too, does not really work: she has gone full druid priestess with those long flowing, relentlessly rainbow-coloured sleeve and train (all the better hide sharp, sacrificial instruments, perhaps) while he has settled for flip-flop chic on his feet. Revealed all the better by slightly too-short trousers.
3 Garlic Dress
This wedding dress is unique. It is also stylish, made from a rather attractive off-white fabric and looks expensive and carefully sewn. It also, unmistakeably resembles a bulb of garlic, both in shape and in colour.
The garlicky effect is enhanced with the rose trim around the bottom of the skirt and the wrist corsages, which should look cute and feminine and would do so with almost any other style or colour of dress. One wonders if the bride decided to deliberately pay homage to her favourite culinary ingredient or if it is an unfortunate chance resemblance.
4 Plastic Wrap, Anyone?
As a wedding dress this leaves us with no words. It appears that the bride forgot when the wedding was happening and did not order a dress, making do with what she had to hand on the day. The whole outfit appears to be a rather pretty summer dress topped with a floral hairpiece, the whole look then wrapped up in that thin crinkly tissue paper that posh new clothes arrive packaged in.
While the veil works, to a degree, serving its purpose as a garment that could cover the face for the ceremony, the over-dress does not. It could pass as an avant-garde raincoat, it could also be a protective cover like the ones that dry-cleaning companies cover freshly cleaned clothes with. It does not pass as a wedding dress.
5 Stripped (ahem!) Down Dress
There is no rule specifying that a dress has to be worn to get married. It is just more or less expected. This couple has defied expectations, and probably saved a lot of money on the dress fabric. After all, fabric is sold by the yard and most wedding outfits take up many yards-worth of very expensive fabrics.
Not this one though! Or, the couple could be acknowledging their careers: stripper/ hooker and pimp, perhaps? Quite apart from the extreme scantiness of her costume, the contrast between the enormous bustle and the rest of the couple's outfits does not make the subtle dove-grey look attractive. Rather, it seems grubby and pre-worn…
6 Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree…
This bride has eschewed the traditional white for her wedding attire. She has also eschewed clothing, or so it seems, with this offering apparently made almost entirely from yellow plastic thatching. From the waist up she appears to be a radiant and beautiful bride, with cute veil, pinned in place with lovely flowers, and a gorgeously embellished and fitted bodice.
The skirt, however, lets the whole outfit down, dominating the focal point, distracting all attention from the people and seeming to offer a handy refuge in the event of a sudden downpour. The skirt is so stiff that she could pass for a cake topper.
7 Oh Honey, what a Boo-Boo!
Honey Boo-boo and her family have garnered a certain amount of celebrity from their unconventional lifestyle, and it should come as no surprise that when Honey's mother wanted to commit to her partner she would opt for a 'commitment ceremony' rather than an official wedding.
The dress mimicked a wedding-dress in design, but she chose a rather paradoxically obtrusive camouflage fabric. Her partner made the effort and got his trousers to match her dress, but the bridesmaid (Honey Boo-boo herself) looks rather as though an explosion of orange tulle happened around her. The overall effect is one of chaotic colour: cheerful and tasteless!
8 Marry Me, Cupcake?
There are two main elements to a wedding that people tend to remember for years afterwards: the dress and the cake. This bride decided to combine the two into an enormous, white-iced, fruit-cake dress. One can only imagine how many guests they were expecting to create such a huge cake, and one further wonders how the bride managed to move!
The bridal procession is a slow one, but moving an entire gigantic cake with every step must have been a strenuous work-out on its own. We are not even going to speculate about what happened when the bride needed to pop to the little girls' room…
9 Tennis/Swimming Wardrobe Malfunction
What a lovely outfit, where is the rest of it? This is another very minimalist offering, designed to draw attention to the bride's lovely – ahem – assets and her slender figure.
While there is nothing wrong with being proud of your body, perhaps your wedding day is not the time or the place to reveal as much of it as possible to your guests, friends, family and passers-by? The overall effect is to make the bride look as though she wants to go swimming and play tennis simultaneously. The good news is the veil is long enough to provide some, rather transparent, cover if needed.
10 Bride of Spiderman?
This unusual dress features a very sparse, spider-web effect front that does little to cover up the bride's body, while the back seems to have grown an excessive of silvery fur.
Neither effect looks particularly appealing from a bridal point of view and having the front and back be so different from each other makes it 'work' even less well, appearing rather like a half-blown dandelion. Perhaps the dress designer misunderstood when the bride asked for a dress that would work well in church, something 'holy', providing instead this 'holey' creation?
11 Pregnancy Announcement
We can only assume that the happy couple wanted to spread the good news about their impeding new arrival as they got married, but did not want to waste any talking, eating or drinking time doing so. It is just a shame that no other thought went into the design of the dress which resembles a bath sheet, gathered at the top.
The bride's sassy hairdo, while no doubt fresh and funky in any other outfit only serves to make her look as though she has had an enormous fright. Maybe at seeing the dress for the first time and realising that she is about to walk out in front of every significant person in her life looking rather silly?
12 Fluff!
This seems to be a beautiful and elegant wedding dress that has been entirely overshadowed and – to be frank – ruined with this quasi-anti-Goth tulle explosion of frills that landed on the bride's head. One can only hope that it is easy to take off and that she did so within seconds of this photograph being taken.
While 'bigger is better' is often the rallying cry when it comes to wedding dresses, it is a call that should have been ignored in the case of this over-sized and completely merit-less head-dress. On the other hand, if the groom could stand to marry someone wearing this, he is sure to be a keeper in the marriage stakes!
13 The Emperor's New Wedding Dress
We rather think that this bride has been conned by unscrupulous tailors like those in the fairy-tale of 'The Emperor's New Clothes'!
While there clearly is a dress there, it is ghost-like and entirely see-through. Thank goodness for the strategically placed fig-leaf!
14 Labels, Labels Everywhere!
This is either a clever idea that did not quite work as planned, or the wedding planner got frustrated and not being able to tell one member of the wedding party from another!
In many ways, this couple's wedding attire is fairly standard: white, she in a dress, he acknowledging his family roots and a bushel of pretty attendants from various branches of the family tree. Whoever decided to write the designations of each person on their wedding outfit no doubt had some idea of what they doing in mind. Sadly, it did not translate very well to real life.
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